Last week I cooked for a fundraiser for a local group. We smoked and sold Boston Butts and hams. I think they turned out pretty well, thanks to the efforts and experience of some of the other guys. I was doing some prep work in the kitchen when I accidentally pushed my ballpoint pen off the CD player into the gap behind it.
Got mice? Glue trap.
Got spiders? Glue trap.
Got an exterminator that wants to clutter your house? Glue traps.
Got a countertop appliance in your kitchen and a tiny space behind it? Have some small item that falls behind the appliance? Without looking, reach your hand into the blind spot to feel for and retrieve the small item? Glue trap.
That’s exactly how I found the glue trap, the same glue trap I put there a few months ago.
I pulled my hand back and discovered that not only was it a glue trap, but it was also the heavy duty, super-deluxe, extra sticky glue trap, guaranteed to hold spiders, mice, small dogs and 64-year-old men in place. Fortunately, my right hand was the only occupant of that particular glue trap.
At least until my left hand tried to set my right hand free.
Ever had both hands stuck in a glue trap? Out of ten fingers I had exactly three of them free. Right thumb, right index, and left pinky. Needless to say, my manual dexterity had taken a major hit. It was at that moment I began to empathize with the victims of the La Brea tar pits.
I pulled. I pulled harder. Finally, my left hand pulled away from the trap. Unfortunately, my right thumb got stuck during the struggle. My left thumb and three fingers were stuck together. Only my left pinky and right index were still free.
Now what? How do you get the glue off?
Palmolive! Palmolive dish detergent removes everything! I knocked over the Palmolive bottle and squeezed it with my elbow. A healthy squirt in the sink later and I learned that Palmolive truly does remove everything. Everything except glue traps. I learned that when I bumped the Palmolive bottle with my glue covered left hand. Now I have a glue trap on my right hand and a bottle of Palmolive on my left.
What next? I know that peanut butter removes chewing gum. Would it work for a glue trap? Doesn’t matter. No peanut butter.
What about olive oil? Knock over the olive oil bottle. Thank goodness the cork was loose!
Smear the fingers stuck to the Palmolive bottle in the tiny puddle on the counter. Catch the Palmolive bottle between my elbow and my apron. Pull!
Freedom! Of course, now I have a Palmolive bottle suck to my side.
From there it was simply a matter of dabbing olive oil on whatever was stuck. Dab, pull, dab pull, dab, pull, dab.
