I have been racking my brain for weeks in search of a topic to write about for this page of our newspaper.
I don’t typically divulge too much of my personal life…even on Facebook. My boss and best friend Stephanie Cunningham Warren, publisher of the Tate Record, knows more about my life than she cares to admit. We vent to one another often about different topics amidst our usual office banter. My experiences on the various (gulp) dating apps has led to several laughs and admonishments from Stephanie recently.
That left me wondering…what happened to the good old days of “courting” someone”? My fellow old schoolers out there know what I am talking about. You are attracted to a person of the opposite sex, chat with them, get their phone number and eventually go out on a date. If it there is a connection, you possibly go on several more dates.
After my divorce was finalized in July 2020, I waited a few months before dipping my toe into the dating pool. That’s when a friend (no, not Stephanie) suggested trying the dating apps. My experience thus far is comparable to the plot of a Dave Barry novel.
I downloaded a few of the dating apps to my phone and rapidly grew bored with swiping right for someone who I thought would be fun to go out with and left for the people I was not attracted to.
A few weeks into this tiresome task, I got a “hit” and matched with a lady from Collierville who had been through two divorces. I took her flowers on our first date (I told you it had been a while, so please refrain from judgment). We had a few dates before she decided she was not ready for the dating scene. Excuse me, but why are you on a dating app? Back to the drawing board for me.
I decided to double down on my chances of meeting someone and downloaded a few more of the dating apps. Soon, I was flooded with messages from a variety of ladies across the Mid-South. They sweet-talked me for several days before getting down to their true intentions…money. I have been asked to send funds for gas, gift cards, groceries and even diapers! Several have even asked me to invest in their businesses or cryptocurrency. No, no, no, no and no from me.
We ran a story in the Tate Record last week warning singles to be alert for an increase in romance scams leading up to Valentine’s Day. The article stated a record $1.3 BILLION was lost to romance scams in 2022, up from $547 million in 2021. I am proud to say I did not contribute to the 2023 numbers that have yet to be revealed.
I didn’t need to read this article to realize the possibility of getting scammed on the dating apps was high. See, I have this thing called common sense that tells me to never give or send money to someone I have never met and probably never will. Plus, I don’t have a cash app, so it’s win-win for me.
These romance scammers won’t get me because I refuse to fall victim to their sob stories. I am NOT that lonely, folks. On top of that, I am kind of a tightwad. I would rather give money to my daughter who’s in college or donate it to charity.
I did meet a lady on a dating app from another state in November 2020 and we chatted and texted for about a month before finally meeting face-to-face. That relationship lasted over two years, but the distance between us eventually led to a split. I connected with another lady last September who also lives in a different state, and even though we have not had a date yet for reasons I will not reveal here, we text one another frequently because we have become good friends. So, I can’t say the dating apps are a total waste of time.
My advice is to always be aware because there are people out there ready to pounce and take advantage of your loneliness. If they immediately call you “sweetheart” or “darling” in their messages, refuse to talk to you on the phone or meet in person, and don’t have a social media page…those are huge red flags, my friends.
I get my “old school” ways from my parents. In the days growing up as a teenager in the small community of Harmontown, my late father never really questioned me about who I was dating. He did stress to me the importance of treating females with respect and to always be a gentleman. As he would say “that is someone’s daughter so act like you have some sense and don’t be an idiot.” Thanks Pops. Duly noted.
The only time I can remember my father getting upset with me about dating was when I was courting a young lady who lived in Tyro…a mere miles up the road. We chatted on the phone at least 30 minutes every night for about two weeks before the phone bill arrived in the mail.
Unbeknowst to me, I was making long distance calls to a residence just five miles away. I guess, perhaps, because Tyro is in another county? My father sat me down and told me I had two choices if I intended to continue courting this young lady. I could either pay half the phone bill or drive to her home and see her in person. I chose the latter, and we remain good friends to this day.
Yes, I am still on some of the less intrusive dating apps with hopes of finding “the one” who won’t request money or ask me to invest in something. Someone who wants to have dinner, conversation, travel and enjoy life together. She is out there somewhere. I just know it. (Hush, Stephanie).
I guess you could label me a hopeless romantic. It’s better than being an idiot.
