Rebuking someone who is living in grave sin that causes your heart to grieve over them is one thing, but when a person pursues someone to rebuke them over the way that they may dress or how they may parent or spend their money, need to be mindful about how or what they themselves allow and do. If someone is rebuking women in the church who may wear short dresses or show parts of their undergarments that may be fashionable yet causes distractions for some, they should be ever so mindful about how they may be allowing their our own young daughters to dress and show part of their undergarments.
This serves as the lesson of removing the log in our own eye before we try to pull out a splinter in someone else’s. It may very well be, that someone may need to share with a young woman about how the Lord requires His people to dress and look in order to honor Him. But if we are preaching and rebuking others concerning this, then we must go the extra mile ourselves in our own self evaluations.
There is nothing at all wrong in sharing in love with someone a blind spot that they may not be aware of in following the Lord, but all of us fall short in some area or another and we need to remember that. This I know for sure, and can tell you with surety, that if we are in Christ and are wanting our walk to be sweet before the Lord, we will not want to let sin in us linger us and if we are confronted in love in the right spirit we receive it that way.
And we have no worries, that the Lord Himself will convict and discipline us in those needed areas.
God lays out for us in 2 Timothy 2:23-26 the proper way to speak to one another concerning an area of someone’s life that may need attention. His word tells us to have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.
And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
Determine if the situation needs to be addressed or is it one that can be overlooked in the spirit of 1 Peter 4:8 of how love covers a multitude of sins. Is it an important issue of doctrine that is at stake? Is this a major sin in their life that needs addressing? Or, is it something that annoys you about that person? What is your goal in approaching them over an issue?
As God’s people, we don’t ever want our correction of someone to turn into an argument because if it does, we both end up sinning. We are enabled by the Spirit of God within us to address an issue in a calm and loving spirit. However, be absolutely sure that God is leading you and do it the right way, in the right timing and the intended rebuke has been saturated in your love with much prayers for yourself as well as the one that you may feel needs rebuke.
Least you loose the respect of your friend.
Never base your correction on second hand information. I am guessing that we all may be guilty of this at some past time. Just because you see someone faults doesn’t give you the right to point them out and correct them. The ability to spot the flaws of others is no gift. If you begin riding that horse hard, your card will eventually be pulled. Fault-finding is something that Scripture condemns in Jude 1:16.
There have been many Christians damaged because someone corrected them in a way that was contrary to Jesus Christ and it would be good to remember that if you correct someone outside of grace, you will surely lose their friendship. Be careful not to speak to others about your intended rebuke of someone, this will only breed future animosity.
If you aren’t broken by the cross of Jesus Christ, the Bible can be an instrument of death in your hands. “The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life,” said Paul. Wielding the Bible with unbroken flesh is a dangerous thing If you do not correct someone in gentleness and utter humility, there’s an excellent chance that you will fall into the same temptation or worse.
May we as God’s people take higher ground when it comes to correcting the faults of our brothers and sisters in Christ.