We all fall short of being perfect and are very capable of having hurts and holding grudges against others, and furthermore, there are times when others have hurt and hold grudges against us. Yet, God’s Word tells us to make every effort on our parts to be at peace with them.
The scripture tells us in Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” The most important point in this devotion today, is that there are times that having peace with everyone is not always going to be possible. Sometimes no matter how we try and make things right by reaching out to others, there will be someone that is unwilling to cut the string of indifference and agree to disagree with each other in love.
If we have done everything we know to be at peace with someone then, we have done our parts. But being at peace sometimes may mean to simply love them from afar. God knows our hearts and He knows if we harbor ill will towards someone and He will hold us accountable for it.
Yet He also understands that for peace sakes, we may need to avoid possible circumstances that could develop, if we put ourselves in a situation with someone that we have had conflict with in past times. In some cases we may need to keep some distance between ourselves and the possibility of encountering another bad situation. But in staying the distance, we need to be sure that we bear no grudge or ill will with them.
Some people find it very hard to surrender their grudges and simply choose to hang on to them. They will actually pamper it and find comfort in fueling it. Grudges are long-standing resentments that carry with them deep-seated feelings of spite, jealousy, bitterness and hostility. They have a way of oozing ill will, infecting relationships, and can cause guilt, anger and even pain and they have no positive place in anyone's life.
Allowing grudges to fester in us destroys our peace of mind and leads to misery and suffering, both physically and spiritually for ourselves as well as our family and friends. The more grudges we carry, the more cranky and unloving we become and don’t think for a moment that other people do not see in us the sin that it really is!
We can commit to letting go of our grudges by first admitting that we have them and that can be very hard to do. If we can only see the fault in others and not ourselves, then someone may need to lend us a mirror so that we can take a closer look.
The source of our grudges do not matter as much as what we do about them. We can build a case against anyone if we are building them from our own perspectives, and yet, that only adds more pain and confusion. We can alleviate a grudge by deciding to focus on the future of that relationship and not the past. Most of the grudges we hold on to are too old any ways.
The act that hurt or offended us may always remain a part of our life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on us and help us focus on other, more positive parts of those relationships.
Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of compassion, understanding, and even empathy for the one who hurt us. Walking in someone else’s shoes can change our perspective about things and give us a much better understanding as to why others act and think the way they do. Forgiveness doesn't mean that we deny the other person's responsibility for their actions, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong that we feel they may have done. But nevertheless, we can forgive them. And, if we don't practice forgiveness, we will be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, we embrace peace, once again have hope, feel gratitude and have our joy restored.
If we dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility will take root.
Let’s move away from our role as victim and release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in our life, and as we let go, our lives will no longer be defined by how we've been hurt, and in this way we will find as well as show others that we truly can love and live the life that Jesus died for us to have, if only we will embrace forgiveness and flee our grudges.
Hold Fast,
-Bren
